Listening

It's important to listen to what people are saying instead o assuming because when you assume, you think they are saying the wrong thing to people and giving them mixed signals.

For example: H thinks I hurt his family even though I didn't know his family and he didn't listen when I tried to explain that to him.

Here are some reasons why people don't listen:

• Sometimes people speak too quickly and we don't understand

• We are thinking about something else

• We want to tell our own story and be center of attention

• We want to help and give advice - assume we know the answer

• We can't accept what they are saying because we want things to be ok

• We are bored by what

• they are saying

• We think we know what they think

How to listen better:

• Be mindful and pay attention

• Repeat what someone is saying to ensure you understand it

• Nod your head and offer body language to show you listen

• Pay attention to their hands, mouth, and where they are looking and change how you speak

• Ask a lot of questions to make sure you understand

• Letting the person in - validating, being receptive

What is validating?

Say things like "it makes sense to feel this way" and "I understand!"

If you learn to listen better, you'll have more friends and people will listen to you back and respect you more.